He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
