just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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