Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
