am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
