.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I touched a dick in church today
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
