its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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