god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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