Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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