Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Still dying that you shit outside
We had sex on a dog bed..
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He has the fingertips of a God
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