The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
