Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize