Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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