i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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