Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
