Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
