Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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