i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
