So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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