This girl is more easily done than said...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
