You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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