he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
