Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
