Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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