In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
