So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
