Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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