you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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