right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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