Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
