I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
