Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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