Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
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