Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
