do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize