we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
