When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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