then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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