we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
