He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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