I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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