Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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