Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
