just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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