shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
