Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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