It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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