I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize