ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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