I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
