These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you will always have a special place in my vag
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
