im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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