therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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