Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
