So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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