you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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